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Monday, 31 December 2012

Reflecting on the year gone by...

Highlights and Lowlights:

The end of the most horrendous year, for not just me, but my entire family. I don't think we will ever encounter another year worse than this year. I don't think much worse things can happen, unless we have a replica of what happened but that is thankfully most unlikely.

The whole year wasn't dreadful though.

It began badly, being admitted to hospital with severe hyperemesis gravidarum (sickness) - I hadn't kept anything down for 4-5 days and it had been over 24 hours of throwing up even sips of water. I was admitted to hospital to go on a drip and get my fluids and salts etc back up. It was the admission to hospital that made me tell my employers at the time that I was pregnant, earlier than I had wanted to. It went horribly wrong after they knew I was expecting, and made life incredibly difficult for me. I was also suffering terribly with SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction), and decided that in the end dealing with the SPD, the sickness and the stress of idiotic employers that the best thing to do was to quit work. It was stressful financially at first but we soon settled into things.


A good time however was our first foreign family holiday. Taking William to Benalmedena was certainly not the usual sun holiday that I had been used to, but it was a lot of fun and we really bonded. The weather was great, the food was great, and we went to some really fab tourist attractions, like watching dolphins performing to music and holding a baby croc!


 

My birthday was not great. I had got to a point where I was so uncomfortable and really had enough of being pregnant. Harry was lying awkwardly as we now know he couldn't engage and carrying him around was getting very difficult. I had a lovely visit from a good friend visiting from London, but we had to cancel the romantic meal we had planned as I was feeling so dreadful.

You all know the story around my going into labour, and the birth of Harry and the terrible, sad events that followed.
If you want to remind yourself here is the story in full: http://missingharry.blogspot.co.uk/p/harrys-story.html

Other memorable points throughout the year were the events for the Harry Cunningham Trust : the walk, the fete, the ball.



As well as all the fantastic awareness we have raised for the condition vasa previa, and the work with the National Screening Committee to hopefully begin screening pregnant women in 2014.
See here for the highlights of my media efforts thus far: 


Lessons Learnt:

  • Don't take anything for granted
  • In times of hardship, you learn who your true friends are
  • When hearing horror stories while pregnant, never assume that these things happen to other people, and not you.... It can so easily be you.
  • The grief journey is one that never ends, or gets easier
  • You will remember the one you have lost every single day
  • Do not test the patience of those grieving
  • Watch what you say to those who have lost: nothing will make things better, saying things like "you're young you can have another baby", "well he was poorly, it was for the best", or "let's try to forget about it" are NOT helpful
  • When someone has lost a baby at any stage of their pregnancy, it is still a loss. They are still grieving. Bear that in mind if you conceive before they do... it is an incredibly hard time and being happy for pregnant women when you are grieving the loss of your baby, at any stage, is more than difficult.
Hopes for 2013:

  • To continue to fundraise with the Harry Cunningham Trust
  • Raise further awareness of vasa previa and hopefully include the screenings at the 20 week scan for those women at risk
  • To remember Harry in positive ways
  • To spend more time with those who mean a lot
  • To enjoy every minute with William
  • To be happy....




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